A Thousand Emotions Rolled Into One

I never in my wildest dreams thought that pregnancy would come with such emotions. I’m not talking emotions like one second I’m happy, and the next I’m sad. I’m talking about the constant worry… “Is my stomach supposed to feel like that?” … “What was that little twinge I just felt?”… “I’m not peeing as much as I think I’m supposed to. Is that normal?” … etc. etc. etc. It’s really a never-ending battle with myself and google. I constantly have my blackberry up to my nose googling the newest symptom or flutter I feel. I’ve found myself googling “pregnancy + pain to the left of belly button.” I mean, seriously!? I’ve got to be stopped.

Since the progesterone scare, I’ve read countless stories online of other women who’ve dealt with the same thing. It seems it is pretty common, and *hopefully* if it’s caught early enough, then the supplements are to be taken throughout the first trimester and everything should be fine. I’m really hoping and praying with all of my might that we found out early enough.

Today I am 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I pray that I will see at least 39 weeks pregnant with this little apple seed (the size this week). Dan and I are so, so blessed with this pregnancy and very much want to meet this little baby in 8 months. Please, Lord, help my body make that happen.

This morning I was met with my first real bout of nausea. I’ve had little moments here and there, but today it was a pretty constant thing. I munched on some crackers and took deep breaths. Hard candy seems to help a little, as well as ice cold water. I’m not bummed to feel nausea though, in fact, it’s comforting.

I am so excited, yet so nervous, about my ultrasound on Thursday. I’m praying hard that we see a little flickering heartbeat that shows my baby is growing healthy and strong. Until then, I’m going to continue to thank God for the little life inside of me and pray that He helps it continue to thrive.

Thanks for the support you’ve offered, Internet friends. I really need those good thoughts, vibes, and prayers to continue. I need strength to not lose my mind this week and prayers that the ultrasound will show everything is perfect.

(As always, this is still a secret so those “in real life” friends that may come across this, please don’t say anything on Facebook or otherwise).