White flag! Uncle! I surrender!

I'm struggling here, folks. With sleep that is. For the babe.

I cannot for the life of me figure out what the deal is. Nothing has changed as far as our normal routine. He still takes one long nap in the mornings that is about 2 hours. He still follows the "Eat, Activity, Sleep" routine. He's awake for about 1.5 hours including eating time before taking a nap. His other naps range from 30 minutes-an hour.

When it's time for bed (usually around 9), he used to get swaddled, get cuddled, go into the rock and play, get the seahorse turned on, get his paci, and get rocked to sleep. This would take about 20 minutes but he'd be asleep by 9:30.

Now we're lucky to get him asleep by 10:30-11! I thought he was TOO tired, so we moved up his "bedtime" to 8:30. Tonight we started bedtime at 8:30 and here it is at 10:30 and he is FINALLY (knock on wood) asleep for the night.

Tonight bedtime went like this:
eat and swaddled at 830
in rock and play- rocked by dad- until 9. cried on and off the whole time (never used to).
mom couldn't listen to him cry anymore so i had him bring him to the LR where I rocked him in the recliner. he fell asleep in about 15 minutes (no tears).
kept rocking him to make sure he was really out, put him in rock and play at 930.
mom gets in shower and tells dad to listen for him.
mom isn't in shower for 3 minutes when i hear him cry. it progressively gets louder and angrier.
mom hurries up and finds him getting his diaper checked (was dry)
mom scoops him up and he quits crying
mom reswaddles, puts him in rock and play and he screams
mom nurses and he calms down, eventually falls asleep (though he normally doesn't require this nursing session, and i don't think he was actually hungry).
by now it's 10.
put him in r&p and he wakes up and cries.
mom sits next to him on floor and strokes his cheek and shushes until he's asleep.
mom leaves room and no sooner makes it to kitchen when he cries.
mom goes back, reinserts paci, shushes, and he's out.
mom leaves, he wakes up.
mom returns, reinserts paci, shushes, and he's out.
It's now 10:30 and I'm surrendering. WHAT GIVES!?!?!!!!

This has been going on for about 2 weeks. I don't think it's a growth spurt because his eating pattern hasn't changed.

I need some help. My husband, though good intentioned, just isn't nurturing. He talks "rough" and Nolan doesn't respond well. He wants soothing, quiet talking and Dan gets too impatient to do much to help me. So, it's all on me. I get ZERO me time. I'm LUCKY to get a shower every other day.

Any advice? Help? PLEASE?!