It's the little things

I love everything about Nolan. My mom used to sing a song to my brother when he was little that went (something) like this: I love you when you're happy, I love you when you're sad, I love you when you're fussy and I love you when you're mad. It's so true. The kid can be having the worst day ever (temperament wise) and I just can't get over how incredibly much I love him.

I study him and know everything about him. I've memorized the curve of his face, the way he moves and breathes. I know what he's going to do before he even does it. But it's the little things that I know I'm going to forget with time. And I really don't want to.

• When he nurses in the middle of the night and falls asleep and I reach to pick him up to burp him, his hands go up to his face, his butt sticks out and his lips purse. It is the cutest thing ever, and still- 3 months later- it melts my heart each night.


• When he finishes nursing or spits out his paci, his lips stay pursed and he keeps sucking for quite some time even though there's nothing in his mouth.


• His hair lies perfectly flat in the back, but he's always got this "wing" sticking out on the right side.


• 3 months later, he still has hairy ears.


• As he falls asleep he keeps his eyes slightly open until he can't possibly stand it anymore- it's like he's making sure I'm still there.


• His naps only take place on me, and only in one position. His head nestled in the crook of my left arm, his right arm under mine, with his body tucked in tight to me. Paci in mouth, my hand patting his bum until he drifts off to sleep.


• When he gets changed he laughs and smiles every.single.time.


• He loves being nakey, or at least only with diaper. But he gets cold and his arms and legs flail out and then he grins like he did something funny.


• He has the softest, most kissable cheeks.


• Each day he looks at his mobile like he's missed it and talks to the creatures like they're his best friends.


• He cries at every stop light we come to in the car until he falls asleep. He's fine if the car is moving though.


• He watches tv in absolute amazement.


• He curls up his legs and reaches for his toes when it's time for a diaper change, and laughs when you say "let me put your diaper on!" It's like a game to him.

I could go on and on, but these are some of the things that are currently melting my heart. I hope to never forget but I know as time goes on and he continues to grow and change new things will come along. I want to cherish each and every stage because it is going way too fast.