One Year

Dear Nolan,

Here we are! Today, you are ONE YEAR OLD, my love. And what an amazing year it has been! You've gone from this tiny chubby newborn with a head full of dark hair and the sweetest lips I've ever seen to a walking, talking toddler who steals his momma's heart daily. (And yes, you still have a head full of dark hair and the sweetest lips I've ever seen). This letter is probably the hardest one I've written so far. I don't know what it is about one year. In the grand scheme of life, it's really just another month that's gone by... but to think that at this exact moment last year you were still in my belly- about to make your grand entrance- it's incredible. Our lives have changed for the better in more ways than I can put into words. There were moments along the way that seemed to last an eternity (namely, those when I was up every hour for feedings!) but looking back, I feel like I blinked and you turned one.

I have a hard time choosing favorite moments, because they've all been great. The first time I saw you and held you, the first time you smiled at me, the first time you gave me a kiss or patted my back, the first words, first steps... every thing has been amazing. Being a mom to you came naturally to me. You make it easy to love you, that's for sure. Above all else in my life, I want to protect you, make you happy, and make you feel loved. If I can accomplish those things each day then I feel like I've done a good job. Seeing your happiness fills my heart with joy and I wouldn't ever trade the past year for anything.

Soon, I'm going back to work. While this makes me a little sad, I know it's just part of the next chapter in our lives together. You love your grandma and love going over to play with the kids. I know you will be well taken care of and loved to pieces while I'm gone. I feel so blessed that my 8 week maternity leave turned into a whole year. The bond that we've formed and the relationship that we have is so special. I can't wait to see how you grow and blossom having more interactions with children your age. I know it is only going to get better from here.

Today you weigh about 20 pounds. You have learned so many new things that I can barely keep up! Your word list has expanded to include: eat, ball, apple, and ow. I think you're also trying to say "that" but I'm not certain. You are a walking machine! You prefer to walk over crawl but you can't quite get up when you fall down yet... so you crawl to the closest thing and pull yourself up then continue on your way. Your 8th tooth just popped through on Tuesday the 30th. You're going to have a full mouth full soon! You'll eat just about anything we put in front of you and you love to snack throughout the day on anything momma's eating. You still love fruit more than anything else. You're sleeping through the night in your crib from about 9pm-6am then you wake up to nurse and sleep with me for another couple of hours. Speaking of nursing, we officially made my goal of one year!! Incredible. :) You love to be out and about but still have major "stranger danger." You hardly ever smile at or talk to anyone you don't know. It makes me laugh because you have SUCH a personality... but if someone you don't know tries to talk to you, you get this weary look on your face and back up away from them. You still only kiss your momma, and I'm a-okay with that. ;) You sure do know how to show me that you love me... it makes even the "worst" day great.

"On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered, 'Life will never be the same.'"

You will never know how very much I love you little man. My whole heart is yours. :)

Forever and ever, all my love...
Momma